My Story - Becoming The Holistic Fibro Fighter

I have decided to share my story, for the first time in full, not the edited version of how I became unwell. This came about after having the space over the last couple of years, to step back a little to observe and witness the pain I have carried for over a decade.  I wish to share this now in the hope that it may support others in searching for their own story that they are holding onto.  

This is how I ended up being The Holistic Fibro Fighter….

My symptoms first appeared in the Autumn of 2013 when I had somewhat of a ‘Crisis Time’. This started whilst I drove home late one evening from work across Telegraph Hill and had to break suddenly for a large deer in the middle of the road, its antlers should I have hit it, would certainly have caused me significant injury. (This could have been part of my Shamanic spiritual awakening). During this incident, I hit both knees on the dashboard and I experienced increased movement in my neck from heavy breaking, resulting in whiplash. I recall another vehicle passing by me at speed in the adjacent lane; I was stationary at this stage, still eyeballing a large stag in front of the car.

At the same time, my husband was unwell, awaiting surgery and I was also giving support to my 81-year-old father who was trying to extricate himself from a difficult domestic situation.  I recognised these things individually had high levels of stress, together with working full time in education and attempting to function generally in my own life these may have all been contributing factors to my body’s attempt to warn me to slow down.   

I started to feel what I can only describe as buttock pain, coupled with flu-like symptoms and pain in my knees and feet, I was experiencing low mood and became grouchy and tearful, I then had an increase in pain and difficulty walking. By Christmas, I was on the edge of the abyss. My body had let me down. The pain became more widespread and impacted on my daily activities, even holding cutlery to eat was almost impossible.  I became depressed, feeling isolated and helpless. I was unable to go to work, drive the car or walk, even getting out of bed was so painful that it was easier to just stay in it.

I was unable to sleep as the pain increased at night resulting in deep burning sensations throughout my body. I had trouble regulating my temperature and I suffered from brain fog, which was possibly the hardest thing to deal with. Not being able to remember anything, can be really frightening (post-it notes became my friend) the cocktail of medication including Tramadol I was put on either didn’t touch the pain or made me so drugged up that I was incoherent.

I was in my early forties and had led a relatively active life up until then bird watching and walking. I had a job that I loved and generally enjoyed my life. If you looked at me apart from using a stick, there was nothing to see physically that could indicate the amount of pain I was being subjected to. Any form of exercise wiped me out, and my husband took over all the household chores, and if I wanted to do something like visit family I would need to rest before and after; having to decide whether the pain that I may suffer from afterward was worth what I wanted to do. That is a big ask when suddenly everything comes at a price!

Friends, family, and work colleagues were supportive, but it was challenging as no one could see what we were dealing with. Once I received a diagnosis from Rheumatology it didn’t stop there. In fact, it probably exacerbated the situation I was in. I was in denial trying to convince myself that I had a virus or post-viral fatigue. All I had was a label and no cure. I was so angry I felt that I had been put on the scrap heap, not a great place to be when your mood is at rock bottom and there is no hope. (I now feel almost 10 years on that I was also going through the menopause, I am in the process of documenting my thoughts on that for a blog to be published soon)

It has been such a long journey, one that this blog has charted.  I decided that I would put links into this post to make it easier for you the reader to navigate through my experience and read previously published articles that you or someone you know may benefit from having access to. This also gave me the opportunity for reflection. I have done so much personal development and searching, and I find it remarkable to witness how I have and continue to heal myself.  

Over the years I have had therapists, friends and complete strangers reach out to me, I am very humbled that my story touches them at some level. I recognise that my illness gave me a gift and that gift was to believe in myself and experience life at its most challenging then share the experience with others.

Fibro isolated me in the early stages before my diagnosis and then came the connections and they continue in the most unexpected situations, I can be in the middle of a car park and have a seemingly random conversation with a perfect stranger only for them to disclose they are fighting a chronic pain condition. A coincidence maybe but I do feel synchronicity plays a part.  When we reach out to others, we can feel less alone. I write from a place deep within my soul, a place of love, a place of healing. I do believe we can change. It is this that keeps me fighting and writing.       

I now support others on their journey to wellness, helping them to heal from the inside out.

Spring Equinox ~ Finding balance.

Tomorrow is a day when we celebrate the solar festival of the Vernal Equinox when night and day are of equal length. This is an opportunity to think about the balance within our own lives.

It is also the day of the sun entering Aries, a fire sign and symbolized by the Ram that represents male fertility and often the horned cornucopia of abundance. This is the first sign of the zodiac and begins a new cycle.

Nature is beginning to wake up after the dormancy of winter, flowers starting to grow and blossom. Birds busy nesting and egg laying. With the lengthening of days and more heat from the sun nourishing and giving energy to all things, including ourselves.  

This celebration is also known as Ostara the transitioning from dark into light sitting between the other two festivals of Imolc and Beltane. Ostara is a spring festivity that honours Eostre; according to legend she is the goddess of springtime and flowers.

She is also known as the goddess of the dawn, rising in the east, the direction associated with rebirth and of fire energy.  It has been said that it is also where the word Easter derives and maybe why we associate eggs and rabbits with this time of year.

With the emerging rising of the spring energy, now may be a good time to spring clean spiritually, emotionally and physically; bringing things back into balance.

We can do this in many ways and here are some ideas you may wish to consider.

• Plant some seeds that you can nurture and grow

• Walk and reconnect with nature

• Paint or decorate some eggs

• Construct a spring alter

• Light a candle and consider what you would like to rebalance in your life

• Wear a colour, associated with spring such as yellow or green  

• Make a crown or garland of flowers

• Declutter your home and have a really good spring clean

• Eat fresh seasonal produce

• Move your body, stretch, skip or dance

• Consider journaling, creative writing or maybe compose a springtime poem or song

• Spring clean your mind by working with your subconscious to clear core belief and emotions that are no longer serving you, bringing them back into balance  

Do what feels right for you, allowing this beautiful spring energy to renew and invigorate you.

I wish for you Ostara Blessings....

May you embrace the birth of all life.

May you nurture what you sow.

May you grow in mind, body, soul and spirit.

May you find balance within your own world.

Jane Taylor (Holistic Fibro Fighter)

Image credit ~ Amanda Clark

The Solstice and Exact Planetary Conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter.

This phenomenon happens every 20 years. This year it may be considered more significant. This is the closest they have been in 800 years. You may also get treated to the Ursid meteor shower on the same night.

The pair will begin to shine brightly shortly after Sunset on December 21st being Winter Solstice, you can expect that at the extremely early time of 3.54pm GMT, continuing to shine for around two hours after 6pm when the UK's positioning on Earth will have turned away from them.

You could dowse to see if you are facing the correct way, (SW horizon) or look at the Moon, which will only be half full, and then for the bright object above it.

I am no astrologer, but I do feel that this is a significant moment in time.  Both are considered transpersonal planets, less associated with self but more involved with interaction with others

Jupiter represents the way we expand ourselves. This is often gained by the accumulation of experience, encouraging us to expand the horizons of the mind beyond limits. It is also indicative of our religious and philosophical beliefs. It traditionally influences laws, business, and financial affairs. Jupiter is the impulse for growth, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  

Saturn represents authority. It is the planet of learning, to form structures and define limits to ensure lessons are well learned.  

This great conjunction sets the tone for the next 20 years, affecting almost everything. This also takes place in the sign of Aquarius, an air sign of innovation, humanitarianism, and independence, where it has not been since the start of the renaissance in 1405. For the past 200 years the conjunctions have taken place in earth signs which have been very grounding. 

Jupiter is related to growth, Saturn is about restriction, and Aquarius is invites invention. With all these at work, balancing life and the ability to be enthusiastic or restrained where necessary, I am remaining optimistic and hopeful that positive change is on the horizon.

Solstice Blessings to you all. xx