A New Dawn

Embracing Holistic Wellbeing and Learning with Jane Taylor

Hi everyone!

I'm thrilled to announce a fresh chapter in my journey, one that reflects the evolution of my approach and the exciting possibilities ahead.

From Here to There

Effective immediately, I'll be operating under my own name – Jane Taylor. This change signifies a deeper focus on facilitating holistic wellbeing and inspiring learning. While therapy remains a core offering, I'm expanding my services to encompass a wider range of resources and tools designed to empower individuals on their personal growth journeys.

A Passion for Holistic Wellbeing

As a passionate advocate for holistic wellbeing, I believe in the interconnectedness of mind, body, soul and spirit. My aim is to equip you with the tools and knowledge to embark on a journey toward a healthier, happier, and more balanced you.

Embracing Freedom, Flexibility, and Self-Discovery

By stepping into my own name, Jane Taylor, I'm embracing the freedom to explore new avenues, flexibility to adapt to your changing needs, and the opportunity for self-discovery. This transition began in May when I made the decision to relinquish my office in Newton Abbot, marking a significant shift in my approach.

What to Expect

You can expect exciting new offerings alongside familiar services

• Sessions: Experience the transformative power of nature-based sessions that combine with holistic practices, techniques and a deep connection to nature.

• Upcoming Workshops and Programs: Stay tuned for a variety of workshops and programs designed to explore topics related to wellbeing, self-discovery, and personal growth.

• Resources and Guides: Access valuable educational content to equip you with tools and techniques for ongoing learning and self-care.

I'm continually developing new resources and ways of working to meet your evolving needs.

Finding Me Online

To reflect this exciting change, I've updated my website to janetayloronline.com. It features a rebranded logo and fresh content that better reflects my expanded services and approach.

Blog

For the time being I am continuing to focus on my blog. As someone who is passionate about supporting others with chronic pain conditions, I believe in the power of holistic approaches to wellness. Both my blog are a personal journey through living with chronic pain. I'll be sharing my experiences, insights, and tips on how I've managed my condition. Whether you're looking for inspiration, support, or practical advice, I hope it will continue to be a valuable resource for you.

Staying Connected

I'm incredibly grateful for your continued support. Here are some ways to stay connected

• Visit my updated website: janetayloronline.com

• Subscribe to my newsletter: Stay in the loop about new services, workshops, resources, and products. www.janetayloronline.com

• Follow me on social media: Instagram

I'm so excited to embark on this new chapter with you and committed to providing you with the tools and support you need to thrive and reach your full potential.

With love and blessings,

Jane

The Invisible Lines That Shape Our Lives

Today, we're tackling a topic that's close to my heart and essential for a happy life, crucial for healthy relationships and personal well-being and that is our boundaries.

We've all been there when we have been stretched so far, feeling like everyone needs a piece of us, and our energy levels are on empty. Maybe you said "yes" to one too many things being asked of you, or that work email keeps nagging at you in the back of your mind during your I am not at work time ( I call that the nodding handbag/briefcase) This constant feeling of being pulled in a million directions can leave us stressed, resentful, and quite honestly, burnt out. This can then cause illness and dis-ease within our bodies.

Boundaries can feel a little abstract. They're not physical walls, but rather invisible lines that define our emotional and physical space. Think of them like personal force fields that help us interact with others and that protect our own time, energy and well-being. Boundaries are essentially guidelines, both spoken and unspoken, that we establish to define what is acceptable. They communicate our needs, wants, and limitations, and help us navigate various roles and relationships in a healthy way. Strong boundaries ensure that we are not taken advantage of and that our emotional and physical resources are not depleted.

Why Are Boundaries So Important?

Think of boundaries as your superpower. Strong boundaries help you in so many ways

• Maintain Healthy Relationships Boundaries prevent people from taking advantage or disrespecting your time. This means you have more quality time and emotional energy for the people who truly matter in your life. Imagine spending evenings catching up with close friends, knowing you're not dreading work emails or feeling obligated to help out with last-minute tasks.

• Reduce Stress and Burnout Ever feel overwhelmed and worn-out? Saying "no" more often frees up space for essential self-care (think bubble baths, long walks in nature, or simply curling up with a good book). When you prioritise your needs and recharge your batteries, you'll be better equipped to handle life's stressors and show up authentically in your relationships.

• Improve Communication Clear boundaries mean clear expectations. Less confusion about what you're comfortable with and what's not leads to less frustration and conflict. Imagine being able to have honest conversations about your needs without feeling guilty or selfish.

• Boost Self-Esteem When you prioritise your needs and respect your boundaries, you feel more confident and in control. It shows yourself and others that you value your time and well-being. This newfound sense of self-respect can radiate outwards, creating a positive ripple effect in your life.

Boundaries are essential in all aspects of life, helping us navigate different relationships healthily. In close relationships, boundaries ensure healthy emotional space. This can involve setting boundaries around sensitive topics or personal needs, like needing time alone to recharge. Boundaries are equally important with family members. Perhaps you need to set a boundary with a well-meaning relative who constantly offers unsolicited advice. At work, boundaries help us respect professional hierarchies and maintain confidentiality.

And for YOU, boundaries are your secret weapon and your superpower! Imagine boundaries as your personal superhero cape. They shield you from negativity and empower you to live your best life. They allow you to express yourself freely and protect your energy, which is especially important if you're on a journey of self-discovery and growth.

Do You Have Strong Boundaries? Take the Quiz!

Ready to see how you're doing in the boundary department? Answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions:

1. Do you feel comfortable saying "no" to requests that drain your energy or time?

2. Do you find yourself regularly feeling resentful or used by others?

3. Is it difficult for you to separate your work life from your personal life?

4. Do you struggle to express your needs and feelings openly?

5. Do you let people walk all over you, or do you have a hard time taking criticism?

Mostly Yes’s? Let's Talk Boundaries!

If you answered "yes" to most of these questions, don't worry! Setting boundaries is a skill, and we can all learn it. Here at Taylor Made Therapy, we can help you develop personalised strategies to help support you to create healthy boundaries and build a more fulfilling life.

Building Your Boundary Toolkit. How to Set Strong Boundaries

Now that we've identified the importance of boundaries, let's get practical! Here are some key strategies to set strong boundaries:

• Identify Your Needs

The first step is understanding what matters most to you. Do you value your personal time? Clear communication? Once you know your core needs, you can start building boundaries to protect them.

• Practice Assertive Communication

Be clear, confident, and direct in your communication. Instead of being a bit wishy-washy saying "Maybe later" to an overwhelming request, try "I appreciate you thinking of me, but I won't be able to take on that project right now. Use "I" statements like "I can't help you with that right now" or "I need some time alone to recharge." Clearly and confidently communicate your boundaries.

• Respect Other People's Boundaries

 It's a two-way exchange! Just as you want your boundaries respected, be mindful of others'. Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues, and avoid overstepping someone elses.

• Start Small and Build Up

Don't try to completely change and overhaul your life overnight. Begin with small, manageable boundaries and gradually build your confidence.

Now that we've established the importance of boundaries, let's delve into a tricky situation, what to do when someone disregards them altogether. We've all encountered these "boundary breakers" – individuals who consistently overstep or manipulate our personal space. Here are some warning signs to watch out for

• The Guilt Tripper This person uses emotional manipulation to get what they want. Phrases like "You never want to help me" or "Is this how little our friendship means to you?" are their weapons of choice.

• The Energy Vampire They leave you feeling emotionally drained after every interaction. Their negativity and constant need for support deplete your energy reserves.

• The Oversharer This individual blurts out inappropriate or TMI (too much information) details, disregarding your comfort zone.

• The Incessant Texter/Caller They disregard boundaries around communication, expecting a constant barrage of texts and calls, even during your personal downtime.

• The Taker, Not the Giver This one-sided relationship thrives solely on what they can get from you. Reciprocity and emotional support are non-existent.

Boundary breakers? No problem!

Here are some strategies to activate your superpower and protect your well-being

• The Broken Record Technique Repeat your refusal clearly and calmly. "I appreciate you asking, but I'm not available for that."

• The "I" Statement Approach Explain how their actions impact you. "I feel overwhelmed when you share so much personal information."

• The "I Need Time to Think" Tactic This buys you valuable space, especially for complex situations. "Thanks for the invitation. I need some time to consider it and get back to you."

• The Limited Contact Method Distance yourself from the person, especially if they drain your energy. Limit phone calls or in-person interactions.

• The Direct Approach For those who are particularly insensitive, be direct and firm. "Please stop contacting me outside of work hours."

• The Unsubscribe Button Sometimes, the healthiest approach is a clean break. You can "unsubscribe" from a relationship altogether by clearly communicating your decision to limit contact or end the interaction entirely. This might involve politely declining further communication, severing ties on social media, or even walking away from a toxic situation. Remember, you have the right to protect your well-being, and unsubscribing allows you to create space for healthier connections. Think of it as hitting the eject button on a draining situation and using your superpower of boundaries to propel yourself towards a more positive and fulfilling life.

The Power of "No"

Saying "no" is a complete sentence. It doesn't require justification or explanation. Learning to say "no" is your superpower. It empowers you to take control of your time, energy, and emotional space. By setting and enforcing boundaries, you create a life filled with respect, healthy relationships, and a sense of inner peace. Setting boundaries is not about being selfish; it's about self-care and protecting your well-being.

Self-Care for Boundary Enforcement

Enforcing boundaries can be emotionally draining. Here's how to prioritise self-care throughout the process

Acknowledge Your Feelings It's okay to feel uncomfortable or anxious. Validate your emotions and remind yourself that setting boundaries is necessary for your well-being.

Practice Self-Compassion Be patient with yourself. Building strong boundaries takes time and consistent effort.

Celebrate Your Growth Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. Each time you effectively communicate or enforce a boundary, celebrate your newfound strength.

Seek Support Don't be afraid to confide in a trusted friend, therapist, or counsellor for guidance and encouragement.

Remember, boundaries are your personal force field. They are the tools you need to create a life filled with respect, healthy relationships, and a sense of inner peace. By prioritising your well-being and setting boundaries, you take control of your time, energy, and emotional space. Embrace your superpower and watch your life transform!

When Illness Mimics Fibromyalgia

This isn't the time to be a hero – focus on getting better and give yourself permission to rest and recuperate.

Hi everyone, Jane here, the Holistic Fibro Fighter. It feels like a while since I've written on the blog, and there's a reason for that. Since last August, I've been battling a stubborn case of tendonitis, which has certainly been a challenge, it is getting easier at least I can now straighten my elbow, but still not able to put much weight on it. I kept putting off seeing the doctor or physio until January as I was putting it down to Fibro, by that time the tendons had just had enough.  

I was starting to feel like I was getting back on track, wham! – a nasty chest infection and cough descended upon me, leaving me feeling like I'm back in the thick of a fibro flareup.

This latest setback has me reflecting on a blog post I wrote years ago titled "Flu or Fibro?" Back then, I explored the frustrating overlap of symptoms between these two conditions. And here I am again, grappling with the same question.

For those of us living with fibromyalgia, it's a well-worn path – the constant dance between a genuine illness and a flare triggered by something else entirely. A bit of a sniffle can feel like a full-blown fibro episode.

This time around, the chest infection has definitely taken the wind out of my sails. The persistent cough disrupts my sleep, leaving me exhausted. The congestion makes it hard to take deep breaths, which in turn, exacerbates my fatigue. And don't even get me started on the body aches – a classic symptom of both fibro and a chest infection!

It's during these times that the mind games can really start. Is this just a lousy illness, or is my fibro playing tricks on me again? The answer, of course, is often a frustrating "it could be both!"

This experience has highlighted a crucial point. Fibromyalgia doesn't exist in a vacuum. It can, and often does, complicate and worsen the course of other illnesses. A simple cold can turn into a week-long ordeal. The flu can feel like a debilitating marathon. And a chest infection, as I've recently discovered, can become a descent into utter exhaustion. On top of that, having existing tendonitis has made everything even more challenging. The constant coughing puts extra strain on already tender muscles, and the fatigue from the infection makes managing the tendonitis pain even more difficult. It's a frustrating reminder of how Fibromyalgia can act like a magnifying glass, amplifying the effects of other health issues.

So, what's a Holistic Fibro Fighter to do? Here are a few tips I've gleaned from this experience and from years of living with Fibromyalgia. The key, I've found, is to focus on what we can control.

• Prioritising Rest This might seem obvious, but when you're feeling rotten, it's easy to push yourself too hard. I've had to be ruthless about resting. This means saying 'NO' to extra commitments, delegating tasks where possible, and giving myself permission to simply lie down with a good book.

• Gentle Movement While pushing myself too hard is counterproductive, complete inactivity can actually worsen some fibro symptoms. I've found that gentle stretches and light walks even if it's just around the house or outside to put tissues in bin! help to keep my body from feeling stiff and achy.

• Hydration is Key This is crucial for fighting any illness, and especially important for managing congestion. I've been making a conscious effort to sip on water and herbal teas throughout the day.

• Listening to My Body This might be the most important tip of all. Our bodies are incredibly good at communicating with us, if we take the time to listen. Paying attention to the subtle cues – like a sudden increase in pain or a dip in energy – allows me to adjust my course before things get too bad.

• Kindness to Myself: It's easy to get down on ourselves when we're feeling unwell. But self-criticism is a waste of energy. Instead, I'm focusing on being kind and compassionate towards myself. This means accepting that some days will be better than others, and that's perfectly okay.

Living with fibromyalgia is a journey, and there will be setbacks along the way. The key is to remember that we're not alone in this. By sharing our experiences and supporting each other, we can navigate these challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

So, to all my fellow Holistic Fibro Fighters out there, if you're facing a similar situation, remember these words: This too shall pass. Focus on what you can control, be kind to yourself, and know that there's a whole community behind you cheering you on.

Here's to bouncing back stronger and getting back to living our best fibro-fighting lives!

With empathy and a slightly raspy cough.

Jane The Holistic Fibro Fighter